My baby boy turns one today. He’s not quite toddling around, so I can still call him a baby. Right?! My first year as a mom has taught me so, so much…
-There isn’t a Best in Show award for child birth. If only women knew that the delivery part of being a mom is the easiest. I feel like there is so much stress about which way to deliver a baby; and when it comes down to it, that baby is going to come however he wants. By surgery, bathtub, candlelight, orgasm (have you heard?!), or being caught by a doctor. The birth of a baby is a pretty miraculous event, and who are we to judge which way moms give birth? The delivery and recovery is hard enough, why can’t we congratulate and celebrate each other’s achievements instead of pushing our own methods?
-Regarding nursing, my mom kept saying, “It feels like you never leave the house those first three months. That baby is constantly wanting to nurse.” She would say that over, and over, and over while I was pregnant. So when the time came for me to actually nurse that baby constantly, it didn’t really feel all that bad or all that constant (or maybe I’ve just forgotten). Of course I left the house and tried to carry on a normal daily routine, but for some reason I envisioned that baby hanging on my boob while I walked around the house. {although there were days when it was like that. ah, the lovely growth spurts}
-When I started taking on more projects I really learned time management. I was spending Sam’s nap time on the computer working, and then my spare time was spent reading blogs online. That was a lot of time online. I learned that a lot of design blogs start to all post the same things, and their content really wasn’t all that new to me. I’ve cut my subscriptions in half now–being very selective with the ones I’ve chosen, and making sure that I get at least twenty minutes of unplugged time when Sam’s asleep. That unplugged time still gravitates towards flipping through pretty magazine images while lounging on the couch, but somehow it re-energizes me when I step away from the electronics.
-Formula is not poison. I stressed SO much about breastfeeding that when the doctor ordered Sam to go on formula, I felt like a failure. And then when he completely weaned himself from me, I felt like he hated me. Perhaps it was because we fought so much he actually did hate me. Note to self: when a baby screams and cries and pushes away, it’s time to move on. I was going to miss him stroking my hair and the closeness that comes from nsdursing. But that closeness has transformed into story time on my lap. The lights are down, and there are no other distractions. Just him sitting on my lap, occasionally looking up at me for a reaffirming smile and giggling at my sorry attempt at an animal noise. My bond with my son doesn’t end with nursing.
-The concept of knowing pain for pleasure has never been so true with motherhood. And now that Sam is becoming older and learning to throw fits for communicating, it’s really ringing true. There are days when Sam and I are just off, and nothing I do seems to be right. There have been times when I just walk away from my son crying in the middle of the room and let him have his moment. He needs a minute, and I need five. I’d like to say that I’ve come back fully zenned, but in all reality those days I’m anxiously look at the clock to hit 7:00 for his bedtime. But then there are days when we are making each other giggle and laugh, and I keep him up just to be with him. Those days seem to be engraved in my memory, the bad days are hardly there.
-The developmental guidelines are just that. Guidelines. I hope to consider myself a pretty laid back mom, but I’d be lying if there wasn’t a hint of concern if Sam hasn’t reached a certain stage when he was supposed to. I try to encourage Sam to progress and learn new things, but when he wasn’t rolling over at four months, and walking by twelve, I knew it’d all be okay. When writing a resume, do they ask what month you started to crawl?
-My beef on books is a bit different than the normal, “Know your baby. You’re the only one who knows your baby” spiel. Yes, I agree that I should know my baby and know what his cries are for. But most (good) books are written by doctors who do studies on hundreds of subjects and come up with a very profound result. Certain books REALLY helped me through the first few weeks and months when my baby’s biology and physiology were constantly changing. It helped me understand what my little guy was going through, and made me look at the world through his new eyes. That being said, some books can only cause more stress and grief in some situations. I’ve learned to take everything in, get out what I want, and try to be the best mom with the knowledge I’ve gained. I will confess though, I still am a bit of a parenting book junkie.
-Speaking of books, everything I read prepared me to get that perfect image of babies out of my mind. To understand that life with a baby isn’t perfectly what we imagine it to be. There are long nights, and long days. There are times when I am so physically exhausted and I just wish Sam could feed himself and rock himself to sleep. But for the most part, Sam really has been a picture perfect baby. He’s definitely growing up, and getting a voice of his own. And I can only wait when God gives me a little hellion as a baby. But until that day, I’m enjoying my little love.
Now it’s your turn, any lessons I’ve missed?
